


the garden in your heart

by owiekawa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternative Yamaguchi Tadashi, Attempt at Humor, Cute Yamaguchi Tadashi, Explicit Language, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, References to Depression, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Underage Drinking, Yamaguchi Tadashi is a Little Shit, the use of first names is a little jarring at first
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:08:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27703247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owiekawa/pseuds/owiekawa
Summary: Kei Tsukishima detested most things.He hated the itchy feeling of a collared shirt his mother forced him to wear sometimes to look "presentable", he hated the way his curtains always seem to crack open and shine bright morning light into the back of his retinas, he hated the way most of his classmates were numskulls and couldn’t come up with an individual thought to save their fucking lives.He hated high school.Or, high school is tough and so are feelings.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio & Tsukishima Kei, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou & Tsukishima Kei, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Tsukishima Akiteru & Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 12
Kudos: 57





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> hi so uhh this is the american high school au that no one asked for but i still wrote anyways? this is my first haikyuu fic so please go easy on me but please feel free to leave constructive criticism. This first chapter is a bit bleh in terms of story but i promise the next is better! (i will also do more detailed tagging as i go but for now i believe i got the gist)

Kei Tsukishima detested most things. 

He hated the itchy feeling of a collared shirt his mother forced him to wear sometimes to look presentable, he hated the way his curtains always seemed to crack open and shine bright morning light into the backs of his retinas, he hated the way most of his classmates were numskulls and couldn’t come up with an individual thought to save their fucking lives. 

He hated high school. 

Oh how Kei _hated_ high school. He could write a thesis length dissertation on the reasons he found it stupid, specifically the students. The odd social hierarchy of idiots and their superficial self-importance. Kei didn't fall at the bottom of the make-believe pyramid, but he certainly wasn’t at the top of it either, opting for this weird in-between he inadvertently adopted by befriending the residential skater-stoner alliance (though he didn’t really participate in either much). He didn’t get fucked with because who in their right mind picks a fight with a boy pushing 6’4 in his junior year of high school? Not that Kei could fight all that well, but his height did a lot for intimidation purposes which ensured he could walk to class in peace, without the fear of being binder checked or having his book bag dumped into a trash can in one of the bathrooms. 

He stuffs his afternoon textbooks into his locker haphazardly before the first hellish bell of the day rings and counts it as a small victory, while academically gifted Kei was not so fortunate in his pursuits of punctuality. His sophomore year he’d managed to earn himself 20 tardies in the first semester alone and had to serve two days of after school detention to compensate. Nevertheless, he wouldn’t be caught dead rushing to class and making a fool of himself. 

He’s navigating through the throng of students surrounding his locker as they whisper about one of the cheer captains potentially being pregnant, something he doesn’t care much about, before he feels a large, warm palm pressing into his shoulder. 

Kei knows who it is before he even sees him, and shakes his hand away and pushes up his glasses, “Where the fuck have you been Kei?” Kuroo asks through a laugh, popping a stick of gum into his loud mouth and swinging an arm over his shoulder. He grimaces.

“My locker. Where the hell else?”

They dodge a group of football players, side-eyeing their meathead, testosterone-fueled antics that are much too annoying for anytime of the day, let alone seven am. They fall into a casual stride, taking in the hallways and their peers. Some of these people the two have known for years, stretching back to their days in elementary school when Kei found their existence just as annoying and had a lot less of a filter to keep himself from a bloody nose at the hands of a classmate (which only stopped happening when Kuroo was there to start shutting him up when they met in fifth grade).

“Don’t you have to go suck Kenma’s dick or something?” 

Kuroo flicks him and drops his arm back to his side brushing the comment off, “Actually I was gonna tell you about this kid who walked in through the front gate who I’ve literally never fucking seen before.” 

“He was with Kenma,” Kei says it like it's not a question.

“...Yes.” 

Kei just quirks an eyebrow and keeps his pace towards his English class. 

Kuroo speaks again, “He’s tall, well tall compared to Kenma and Shouyou and Hitoka, lots freckles, his hair color is a fucking mystery to me because it’s like kinda greenish… he seems shy. To me at least, he didn’t acknowledge me when I went to talk to Kenma.” 

“I wouldn’t acknowledge you either if I didn’t have to.” 

“Pull the stick out of your ass Kei.” Kuroo says through a chuckle. 

Kei pretends to pout, jutting out his lower lip and furrowing his brows, “But why? It’s not hurting anyone there.” 

Kuroo gags and the corner of Kei’s mouth quirks upwards. 

“Think he’s my new neighbor.”

“The one that moved into-“ he breaks off into a yelp.

Kei pinched the inside of his bicep so hard he’s pretty sure Kuroo will be bruised come lunch time. 

He doesn’t miss a beat but keeps his unbothered gaze forward in a bid to shake Kuroo’s attempt at eye contact, “Yes that would be the house.”

—

_August_

Kei’s bedroom is stuffy as he lounges on his unmade bed, summer humidity seeping into the air around him, warm and thick and overwhelming his senses as the sound from his record player fills his ears. He can hear the hustle and bustle of people somewhere across the street but makes no attempt to move from his position to see them, vaguely remembering his mother saying something about the empty house across the street being filled for the first time since the summer started. Kei is indifferent as usual at the prospect of a new neighbor, though thinking about the previous residents of the house makes his skin tingle in a way he doesn’t like. 

Again, Kei dislikes a lot of shit.

The afternoon passes much the same as his morning, only getting up occasionally with a groan to change the record out for another or to wander down to the kitchen when his mother or Akiteru calls. He’s definitely not going to do his summer reading of _‘The Sun Also Rises’_ opting instead to stare at his much more interesting ceiling (the book is plot-less and the alcoholism hits a little too close to home so he’s avoiding it like the plague). He’s about to change the record when he spots his new neighbors out of the window. There’s a couple, probably around Kei’s mother’s age, the man is simple looking and the woman is pretty. There’s a young girl who’s maybe nine or ten who looks like the father and is jumping around in a way Kei finds endearing but incredibly draining just to watch. And finally a boy, definitely in high school though Kei can't figure out which grade for the fucking life of him. 

He’s got olive tinted brown hair, he’s tall, not like Kei’s type of tall that errs on the side of ‘Jesus Christ how fucking tall _are_ you?’ but above average, he’s lean and looks like he might play a sport. He’s laughing at something his little sister said that Kei can't hear through the glass and the distance. 

Kei thinks they look pleasant and not-annoying enough.

Kei also thinks he should stop watching them like a god damn stalker so he turns away to put the record on.

—

He's in his fourth period art class. 

First of all, he doesn’t even know why the fuck he’s put into art of all subjects but at least it’s not men’s chorus or something so it _could_ be worse. The room is kinda nice too, it doesn’t have the sterile feel accompanying the fluorescent light bulbs used in the gen-ed classes. He silently thanks God for this because those tend to give him a headache after staring at his paper for a while. As if his vision being complete garbage wasn’t enough already. 

Kei already knows this class isn’t one he’s gonna care about or try very hard in, he doesn’t have an artistic bone in his body and he’s not about to start now. Academics came naturally to him and they always had, but drawing the human form or a landscape of some dumb ass mountains? As if he had the time or patience for that shit. 

Kei watches from the back of the classroom as students file in and sit in random seats speckled throughout. There aren’t many kids in the class he notices, definitely only a few upperclassmen which he would feel embarrassed about if he spent more than 5 seconds thinking about. So, unrealistic really. 

He spots his neighbor right away, tucked in the front corner of the classroom, he observes how his hands are folded in his lap and his foot is shaking. Kei figures he must be nervous.

Lame.

This is probably the twentieth time Kei has seen him by now. He spotted him walking somewhere around noon every weekday that remained of their summer through his window, he’d carry a canvas bag that had more and more paintings on it as the humid days passed by. Kei didn’t let himself wonder where he spent his afternoons, too busy staring at his _very_ interesting ceiling, thank you very much. 

Their teacher makes her way to the front of the room, she’s dressed rather eccentrically to Kei’s interest, long skirt and an array of rings he thinks is just on the wrong side of tasteful but still works anyways. She claps to command their attention and begins her spiel, “Happy first day of school! I’m Miss Staudinger. It’s so nice to see some new faces and some familiar ones. This class was a bit smaller than I was expecting but no biggie! Instead of groups of four we’ll just do groups of two. If you guys could make your way to the back of the classroom so I can assign your seats that’d be much appreciated!”

She’s a bit too enthusiastic for his personal taste but he can’t stand the monotone droning of a few of his other teachers so he supposes he’ll live. 

He picks up his tattered black Jan sport backpack and stands in the back at least a meter away from the nearest person. She gets to work calling each student by last name to their spots as she references her clipboard, working her way from the front tables all the way to the back. There’s only twenty students so before long he can make out his neighbor’s fidgety form a few strides away. 

“Tsukishima and Yamaguchi.” 

He has absolutely no clue who that is considering there are still a few people left standing in the back alongside him, but he’s almost positive it’s his neighbor. His first clue is that it’s a decidedly Asian last name and they seem to be the only two in the class that fit that descriptor, though he could be incredibly wrong he supposed. 

When the boy with olive-tinged hair begins to make his way towards the table he’s been assigned to he hums in satisfaction that his first instinct was correct. 

Kei can finally put a name to the face. Well, a last name at least. 

They settle at the table, Kei slumps into his chair and crosses his arms tightly across his chest. The boy who is still (kind of) nameless is now only a foot away and Kei can see him much better. Kuroo was right about the freckles, he’s got way more than Kei could pick up from the usual distance that separates them, he has wide eyes that border on hazel, and he’s got the same greenish hair that he saw through his window for the first time a month ago. 

The teacher whose name has slipped Kei’s mind already swings back to their table, “You boys are the only two upperclassmen in here and I figured you’d be much happier to be paired with each other instead of a freshman.” She smiles brightly and begins weaving through the classroom to check on the other students.

He feels sorta bad that it’s his neighbor that he’s paired with considering that if he flakes on him, he _will_ have to see him, even if it’s only occasionally to bring in groceries from the car or something. 

Still awkward. 

Kei is surprised when it’s the other boy who turns to him to do introductions seeing as he very much seems to be the shy type, he shrinks into himself in his seat, he's clearly pushing six feet tall but you wouldn't be able to tell from his current hunched position. Kei has to give the boy some credit though, if it were up to him they would’ve just sat in silence the entire period.

Yamaguchi turns his body in his direction, “I’m Tadashi Yamaguchi. I think I'm your neighbor?” He starts before shaking his head and scrunching his nose, “Anyways I’m glad we got paired together because at least it’s a familiar face.” He finishes his introduction with a small smile and a tilt to his head that Kei finds himself analyzing a bit more than necessary, he does take note of a singular silver hoop hooked in his right ear though. 

He hums in acknowledgement and nods curtly, voice ambivalent as ever, “I’m Kei.” 

Tadashi doesn’t seem to mind his lackluster response, in fact he just nods his head and turns to face the front of the room again. 

Kei doesn’t hate him. 

Kei _definitely_ doesn’t hate him. 

It’d be one thing if he was an asshole, or smelled bad, or was overly enthusiastic or obnoxious but Tadashi is none of the above. He’s quiet and polite and didn’t press Kei for any more information past his shitty greeting and was aware of the concept of personal space. Something in the back of Kei’s mind clicks and god did he wish he’d just wake up brain dead some days. 

Tadashi seems less anxious now, placing his hands onto the table, clasped but not fidgety, and his leg has stopped moving in a way that’s irritating to watch. Kei notices he’s wearing a few silver rings. One simple band on each of his pinky fingers and the other a purple gemstone he thinks might be an amethyst? But who fucking knows, Kei isn’t a jeweler or gem stone expert.

Kei pays no mind when the teacher starts talking instead he opts for sneaking a headphone through his sweater sleeve and listening to something he knows sounds much better on the record player sitting under his window. 

—

They eat lunch in Kuroo’s shitty old car. Kei gives him a lot of shit about it but honestly it’s his mode of transportation home most days so he’s grateful for it’s existence regardless. He spots Bokuto already in the back seat when he approaches the passenger side, he muses that it looks sort of funny before quickly slipping into the front seat and sitting his bag onto the floor in front of him and pulling out a sandwich.

“I protected your seat valiantly Kei,” Kuroo jerks a thumb in the direction of the boy in the backseat, “this beast over here was trying to take it.” Kei just hums in acknowledgment and takes a bite of his sandwich. 

“I don’t even understand why Tuski-poo gets the front seat! I’m older, more handsome, and can shotgun a beer faster without choking like a bitch.” 

Kei would argue about the stupid nickname or the personal attack to his shotgunning abilities if his mouth wasn’t so full of turkey. He merely turns to the backseat and levels Bokuto with a look before swallowing his bite, “Not my fault you’re shorter.” 

Bokuto groans and throws his head back before starting again, “And where is Kageyama? I know he didn’t get lunch detention already.” 

As if on cue, Kageyama scrambles into the backseat, directly behind Kei. He’s feeling generous today so he keeps the death threat from bubbling over when he kicks his seat and rattles the entire car with the force of how quickly he slammed the door shut. 

Kageyama is panting, “‘My eyes, my poor _poor_ virginal eyes.” 

Kei wants to make fun of him but refrains at the intense distress he’s currently polluting the car with. 

Bokuto slaps him on the back with enough force to push him forward as Kuroo asks, “The fuck happened to you?” 

Kageyama looks like he’s in physical pain much to Kei’s own amusement. 

He drops his head into his hands, “I just got out of English and I was like ‘ _wow I gotta piss_ ’ so I fucking go into the bathroom and I hear some shuffling but I pass it off because I know Osamu and his goth ass boyfriend smoke in there sometimes and I’m not gonna snitch them out because he’s cool-“ 

“I thought you hated him?” Kuroo interjects. 

Kageyama picks his head up to respond, “No I hate his brother and his shitty untoned hair.”

“He’s the one dating Kiyoomi right?”

“Ugh they’re both assholes.”

“No shit. Can I speak now?” 

“Okay continue.” 

Kageyama rolls his eyes, “So I piss right and then someone else comes in. Well I guess whoever was in the handicap stall took that as me leaving and then I was like ‘ _wait it doesn’t smell like smoke_ ’ and out comes Hajime Iwaizumi and FUCKING TOORU OIKAWA.”

Chaos erupts, Bokuto yells ‘OH GOD’ and slaps both his hands over his mouth at the same time Kuroo gags so loudly it _almost_ makes Kei feel sick. Kei himself isn’t immune to the shock, his jaw dropped and eyes wide. Kageyama acts like he’s sobbing and honestly Kei wouldn’t blame him if he was. 

Kei starts hesitantly, “Are you _positive_ that’s what they were doing?”

Kageyama looks up like he’s bearing the pain of a thousand lifetimes behind his blue eyes, “I didn’t get to the worst part, Oikawa was complaining because of his fucked up hair and the jizz on his shirt.” 

Kei rubs his eyes behind his glasses and groans.

Bokuto has actual tears in his eyes, “What’d they do when they saw you?” 

“I’m gonna be honest, I bulldozed whatever poor kid was coming in and sprinted straight here.”

Kuroo sits forward and slips his hands behind his head, “Wow, that graffiti in the science hall bathroom that said ‘Tooru Oikawa gives good head’ isn’t false information then.” 

“He probably wrote it up there himself as an advertisement,” Kei replies with a lazy smirk across his face. 

Bokuto and Kuroo laugh loudly like idiots and Kageyama mumbles something along the lines of it being too soon. 

“I guess it makes sense. They’ve been attached at the hip since like what? Kindergarten? It was bound to happen.” Kuroo says through his mouth full of food.

Kei grimaces, “Doesn’t Hajime… have… a girlfriend…”

Bokuto’s eyes go wide again, “Holy shit I forgot about her.” 

Kei snickers, "So did Iwaizumi."

Kageyama yells an indiscernible noise, “Why do _I_ have to be cursed with this information.” 

Kei raises his eyebrows again, “Good luck with that one.” 

The car falls into casual conversation for a bit, after ten minutes Kageyama finally seems to be returning to his normal self and talking shit about some kid in his class as Bokuto throws goldfish into his mouth. 

Out of nowhere, much to Kei’s annoyance, Kuroo flips himself fully around and points at Bokuto, essentially shaking the whole car in his flurry of movement, “Oh Kou I have a fucking bone to pick with Keiji.”

Kei watched silently as Bokuto’s eyebrows bunch up and a frown tugs at his features, “Why?”

“Uh maybe because he got a fucking license and car and it was _my_ job to drive Kenma places?”

“I’m sure his car doesn’t even smell like weed, what a real upgrade Kenma has earned himself.”

“Fuck off Kei.” 

Bokuto just chuckles, “Haha get fucked Tetsu.” 

“Actually get _not_ fucked,” Kageyama says like it’s the most riveting piece of comedy ever. 

Kuroo stares at him incredulously, “Laugh all you fucking want Tobio but that means he’s gonna start toting around Shou too.” 

Kageyama’s eyes go wide momentarily, “Suddenly, I find this less funny.”

Kei interjects again, “Quite funny actually.”

Kuroo turns his head and look him dead in the eyes with a fake smile, “Kei I’m _so_ gonna fuck your brother for that.” 

—

Kei finds himself walking home, not because he killed Kuroo for threatening to screw his brother but because all it took for Kuroo to say ‘sorry no ride today’ was for Kenma to fake bat his eyelashes when he asked if they could go out of the suburbs to some gaming store. 

Could Tetsurou be anymore whipped? Kei thinks not.

Kei also knew he was being a good friend by taking one for the team. And besides, it wasn’t a _completely_ unselfish act because if Kuroo and Kenma finally started dating maybe Kuroo would shut up about his goddamn failed attempts at courting the other boy. 

It’s only September so it hasn’t dipped below sixty degrees yet thankfully, but Kei still hugs his arms to his chest in an attempt to keep some semblance of warmth. His earbuds are blasting and his mind is relatively blank, only sparing a few thoughts to the bare minimum amount of work he needs to get done and the empty house he’s returning to.

When he turns the corner onto his street he spots a sleek white car in front of the Yamaguchi residence, he recognizes Keiji sitting in the Driver’s seat with Shouyou in the passenger and Hitoka in the backseat. 

Kei wonders for a moment how Keiji could be interested in someone like Bokuto who seems to be his antithesis. Example: Keiji is polite and quiet, Kei isn’t sure if Bokuto even fucking knew how to whisper. The two had been together since summer before freshman year, meaning they’d been together at least two years already and Kei was pretty sure both were so grossly in love he’d be attending their wedding when the time came. 

All three in the car are smiling and talking to Tadashi, who is nodding and laughing at something one of them said. By the time he’s twenty feet away from his own front yard he hears them say their goodbyes.

“Thank you again Keiji! I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” Tadashi smiles something bright and Kei watches. 

His skin pricks.

Once Keiji’s car is out of the way and down the street Tadashi notices Kei’s position on the other side of the road. Kei studies the cracks in the sidewalk and the chalk from the neighborhood kids the previous day. Tadashi's smile feels like summer sunshine and raises his right hand in a wave. 

Kei blanches but lifts his hand in a greeting and rushes up his front steps as quickly as he can without looking like a total fucking loser. 

Kei pretends he didn’t notice the blush that dusted the brunette's freckle littered cheekbones and nose. 

Kei wishes Keiji would come back and run him over, then reverse and run him over again. 

—

Around six o’clock there's banging on Kei’s front door. He’s eating dinner in his kitchen, which really can’t be considered much of a meal because it’s a singular slice of leftover pizza. He’s watching the anchorman of one of the news channels drone on about something that happened a few towns over. Kei jumps only minutely before glaring at the door like the person on the other side can see him. 

Kei raises his voice so he can be heard, “Go home Tetsurou or I’m calling your sister.”

He hears the jingle of the lock and his front door open but no snarky remarks about how his sister won’t care to accompany it. For a moment Kei is almost scared but his brain takes the logical route and assesses that an ax-wielding maniac is not likely to have a key to his house. 

Akiteru isn’t exactly who he’s expecting to walk into the kitchen but he’s not a murderer so he guesses he’s slightly pleased with the outcome. 

“You made no move to get up and see who was coming into the house? What if I was a murderer or something Kei?” Akiteru asks through a chuckle, opening the fridge for a bottle of water and walking over to the counter.

Kei rolls his eyes, “I figured the likelihood of a murderer having a key and choosing this house specifically to break into was low enough for me not to have to waste my energy.” 

Akiteru nods solemnly like he understands his little brother’s logic at all, “and if your calculations were incorrect?”

He shrugs, “Guess I would’ve gotten murdered then.” 

“Ah baby brother, always a ray of sunshine in the Tsukishima household.” 

Kei smiles without his eyes and it ends up more of a grimace than anything, Akiteru laughs and waves a hand in his direction, “Stop that, god that's terrifying.” Kei drops his smile and picks up the rest of the slice before his brother speaks again, “Why were you expecting it to be Tetsurou?”

“He went out with Kenma earlier today.”

Akiteru waits for elaboration but it never comes. He prompts him to continue, “And…?”

“Oh. I figured he was either going to tell me that they’re dating, or that they boned, or that they’re dating and boned and honestly… I don’t wanna hear about it right now because I’m eating.” He gestures to his half eaten pizza. 

Akiteru purses his lips and nods before placing his face onto his hand and leaning into the counter. Kei studies him, he looks a lot like their mom. Same kind eyes and similar hair colors. It’s _almost_ comforting to have someone who is basically a carbon copy of his mother around when she can't be, the same features and the same caring personality. Kei sticks out among the three. He looks like their father.

“How was today?”

“Fine.”

“Just fine?” 

Kei huffs, “It’s not like I’m taking any classes too hard for me or anything.” 

“I mean you're almost a genius, what else is to be expected?” he asks rhetorically. “Any new friends?”

He shrugs lamely. The true answer is no: he didn’t make any new friends today. But his younger self who idolized his big brother to no end felt the urge to tell him about Tadashi. Even if they hadn’t had a real conversation, he wants to tell him about his hair and freckles and his cool tote bag with paintings all over it. 

It’s embarrassing. He swallows the lump in his throat.

Akiteru just hums again at the lull in the conversation before asking, “How’d your last appointment go?”

Kei stiffens, he really _really_ doesn’t want to talk about this but manages to reply, “Fine.” 

“You’ve been keeping up on your… stuff?” 

Kei knows what he’s referring to and is grateful Akiteru doesn’t say it, he nods and suddenly feels five years younger and twice as small. Kei feels like a fucking idiot having to dance around stuff like this but his mother and Akiteru will have to settle for his cryptic-ness if they want honesty.

Kei isn’t lying about anything he said. He’s too blunt to lie. Which yeah, might make him an asshole when he has to say Bokuto’s giving him a headache or tells Kageyama that his milk drinking habit is disgusting, but he finds himself unable to say anything other than what he thinks. Especially if he’s asked directly, that's a surefire way of getting your feelings hurt. Although Kei has learned the hard way that making his mom and brother pull teeth to get answers out of him helps no one, thinking back to the beginning of summer when he’d find himself in a stalemate with the two for days on end at the simple question of ‘ _can you please just tell us what’s wrong?’_. He keeps his responses short, simple, and true now. 

Akiteru rounds the corner of their island and puts his hand on Kei’s shoulder, he loathes physical contact but he’ll make an exception for his older brother. His presence is comforting in a way that he would rather be lobotomized than admit. 

“I know you’d rather pull out your own fingernails than talk about your feelings but I’ll always be here to listen when you’re ready.” 

Kei finds his particular wording strange, because he’s right, he _would_ rather pull out all his fingernails than speak to someone about his feelings. He brushes it off, along with his brother’s hand before making his way up to his room to bullshit his ‘ _The Sun Also Rises’_ essay.

—

The next day is much the same as the first, he spends the morning getting ready in a haze because it’s fucking impossible to form a coherent thought before nine am really. He swallows the tiny pill he left on his bedside table the night before and heads to his shower. 

Kei’s first portion of his day is exceedingly boring but he mentally pats himself on the back for only wanting to deck two people in the throat, and one of them is Kuroo so he honestly doesn’t count at this point. That’s pretty much a fucking record by Kei’s standards. 

He makes it to fourth period art and sees Tadashi already sitting at their little table. He’s dressed in a lime green thing that resembles a cardigan and chunky black shoes. Kei has seen this outfit before through his window.

God now he does sound like a _stalker._

When Tadashi has noticed Kei’s presence he smiles like he did yesterday when Akaashi dropped him off, that small soft thing that’s like sunshine, “Good morning Kei.” 

He settles into his seat, less distance than yesterday because he can pretty much almost guarantee the other boy won’t try to assault him with physical contact, “Morning.”

Ms. Staudinger wastes no time once the bell rings. Kei isn’t paying attention obviously but Tadashi is, his head is tilted in concentration and rests against his right hand. He’s doodling something small on the corner of his notebook and Kei finds himself watching intently. 

“-draw you.” 

“What?” Kei hadn’t realized Tadashi was speaking to him.

Tadashi blinked before starting again, “We have to draw each other. You weren’t listening?” 

“...No.” 

Tadashi purses his lips and nods, olive hair brushing his shoulders, “Okay well I’ll summarize: We just have to sketch each other.” 

Kei nods and pushes up his glasses before speaking, “I've never drawn before so this is gonna look like total shit.” 

Tadashi snorts and then slaps a hand over his mouth, cheeks turning slightly red even through his tanned skin and veil of freckles. 

Kei finds a smile pressing into the corners of his lips but he fights it down.

Tadashi just picks up the sketchpad and turns his chair in Kei’s direction and folds one leg over the other and gets to work sketching, “That's the longest sentence you’ve said to me.” 

“I wouldn’t get used to it.”

On all accounts, Kei is being a bitch. A huge one too. He’s definitely gotten a busted lip for a lot less considering the boy is being so helpful. Tadashi doesn’t seem like the fighting type so he guesses he’s safe, but if he hates him because of his terrible, _terrible_ personality his year will probably be just as miserable. 

Instead of getting angry he just looks up through his eyelashes with a mischievous smile, “Never said I was going to. You should get sketching though she’s giving a completion grade for this at the end of class.” 

A few minutes pass. Kei stares blankly at his own sketchpad, he glances up at Tadashi who was sketching away, and then back down to his empty paper again, “I genuinely don’t know how to draw.” 

Tadashi puts his pencil down for a moment and huffs a laugh, “How'd you end up in this class then?”

Kei groans because he had asked his counselor the same question, “Needed an arts elective and they randomly chose this one.” 

Tadashi hums and gets to work again, “Give me like thirty seconds and I’ll do a shitty one you can take credit for. You should probably pretend you’re doing _something_ though.” He casts a glance in the direction of their teacher observing from her spot at the front of the room. 

Kei blanches, “Oh Shit, uh thanks.” 

“Sure.” 

They don’t talk for the rest of class. Tadashi laid his sketch onto the table after he finished it. Kei realizes he’s quite talented, the portrait he’d completed in just a few minutes looks exactly like him, down to the bitchy yet confused look from a few minutes ago. He’d captured the light from the window reflecting in the frames of his glasses and the small, pinched furrow between his brows perfectly. 

Kei was… impressed to say the least. 

Tadashi spends about four minutes on the “shitty” one before passing it to Kei under the table. He studies him in the time he’s drawing, his bottom lip is pinched between his teeth, they’re pearly white and the tiniest bit crooked. Tadashi passes the sketch of himself under the table once he’s finished. Kei looks at it thoughtfully, admiring the wide eyes, the arch of his cupid’s bow, and his freckles. He watches intently as the other boy pulls out what looks to be calculus homework and works away at it for the remainder of class.

When the bell rings he’s the first out of his seat to pass in his sketch to Ms. Staudinger and walk out of the class.


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to clarify: All characters mentioned are in 11th grade (juniors). Yes I'm aware that Yamaguchi is an only child in canon but I don't care so he has a little sister.

Kei’s morning is not going particularly well. 

It’s now the Friday of his third week of school and his mother had failed to inform him that she was working a double and would not be home in time to drop him off to school. Translation: Akiteru had to play the role of mom for the morning, and while that’s fucking fine and dandy his older brother (while wearing a pink bathrobe that Kei is unsure of the origins) is trying to shove a piece of toast down his throat and the thought of food before eleven am is absolutely nauseating to Kei. The weather is only making his day worse, it’s now sitting uncomfortably in the low 50's and he left his hoodie on his desk, next to the tiny pill he forgot to take. 

Oh today was gonna be  _ so _ fucking fun. 

The last three weeks haven’t necessarily been the peak of Kei’s young life that’s for fucking sure. His skin feels too tight and being touched feels like the hot metal of a seat belt buckle when you’re not expecting it. Some nights he finds himself staring at the ceiling, which is really just a smear of grey with the lack of glasses and only the street lights outside his window to illuminate it, getting lost in a train of thought he has no hope of keeping up with. There’s no decided change in his routine life, he (barely) does his homework, listens to music, he even pulls out his bass that he stuck in the back of his closet six months ago. 

Kuroo notices, of course he does. As begrudging as Kei it to admit, Kuroo knows all his stupid tells. Kuroo knows Kei hates pity and sympathy, gives him the occasional ‘you doing okay?’ look. Kei can only nod. He’s not  _ not  _ doing okay. There’s not a single discernible reason he can think of why he  _ wouldn’t _ be. 

They’re next to a side entrance of school when Akiteru puts his car into park and looks over, “If you’re on time to all your classes today we can go get ice cream next time I don’t have an afternoon class. My treat.” 

Kei attempts to give him an unimpressed look, “I’m not a child.”

Akiteru has perfected the art of seeing through his bratty little brother, “And yet? I know you’ll be on time today.”

Kei hates when he’s right.

He’s standing at his locker now, appreciating the lack of people in the hall to annoy him with their presence. He’s slow to separate his books and arrange his backpack in a way that won’t make one side annoyingly heavier than the other.

He’s almost managed to slip away when the ugly, stupid, annoying, big-mouthed love fool catches him just as his locker shuts. 

_ Fucking Tetsurou. _

Kuroo looks him up and down, “You look like shit.”

He knows it’s true but Kei doesn’t hesitate, “I’m thinking about multiple violent ways to end your life right now.”

Kuroo chuckles with a nod and stuffs his hands into his pockets, “I just love when you talk dirty to me Kei.” 

Kei actually thinks he’s having an aneurysm, his eye twitches. 

“Oh shit, you weren’t joking.”

“I mean I was but you know, I’m having a very shit morning.” 

Kuroo nods and begins to walk along with him. Instead of the usual chatter and jabs they share, it's quiet between them. Kei almost appreciates the familiar presence since Tetsurou makes no moves to push him for reactions like he does most of the time they’re together. It’s a peace offering he can appreciate. 

“I just wanted to tell you that I don’t think I can give you a ride today…” Kuroo’s voice trails off, the guilt is tangible. 

Kei usually never asks because Kuroo always dredges up an explanation. He doesn’t even really care about it because it is in fact Kuroo’s car and he is in fact  _ not _ obligated to drive him home. Today is out of the ordinary though so he asks. 

“Why?”

“I’m taking Kenma on a date so I can officially ask him out.” 

Kei nods, he’d usually have something rude to say but doesn't say anything other than a small, “Good luck.” 

Kuroo casts a glance toward him, he smiles a small thing and hums his acceptance. 

—

By the time fourth period rolls around Kei feels less angry than he was earlier but still like his skin is on too tight. Him and Tadashi have made quick… acquaintances? Kei is surprised there’s another person on the planet who is willing to put up with his shitty attitude and even shittier attempts at art. He figured that number capped off at whatever it was at before they’d met. Tadashi is not as shy as he let on the first day they properly met, he’s funny and even a bit snarky at times much to Kei’s pleasant surprise, but overall still kind. They don’t hang out or anything, or even see each other outside of class for that matter, except for when they catch the other in their front yards and exchange a small smile or wave. Tadashi is even kind enough to do some of his assignments if he has the time and energy. They’re not perfect but they’re like fucking Da Vinci in comparison to Kei’s abilities and he’s promised to treat him to a meal as compensation, even. 

He sits down just as the bell is ringing, Tadashi is already there of course, scribbling away in his little planner that he kept ( _ ‘Is that a diary?’ ‘No it’s a planner. It’s very different. _ ’). He’s tapping his foot, but not in his anxious way, he’s tapping it to an unfamiliar beat, seemingly in his own little world. He doesn’t even look up as Kei situates himself, content to continue writing and not acknowledging his presence whatsoever. 

Kei can't tell if that’s a good thing today or not. 

Once class begins Tadashi wordlessly passes Kei his assignment under the table. It’s a simple still life sketch of an apple on a desk. It’s in graphite and Kei notices a couple smudge marks on the corner of the page from Tadashi’s fingers. 

“Thanks,” he murmurs quietly and trails off.

“Sure. You better take me to eat or something one of these days.”

Kei hums and then nods, “Yeah, alright.” 

Ms. Staudinger clears her throat loudly enough to scare the absolute shit out of Kei. How the fuck do her vocal chords  _ survive _ that? Jesus. He realizes she's staring directly at him and Tadashi. He’ll shut up based on respect for her weirdly powerful vocal chords alone. 

To his right Tadashi looks sheepish and bows his head in apology. Kei honestly doesn’t really care considering how his day is going so he just stares blankly at her. He’s going to stop talking, if she wants anymore than that well… sucks to be Ms. Staudinger he guesses.

She squints at Kei in a challenge but continues, “Anyways… Today I’ll be assigning your semester partner project. As far as projects go this one isn’t too difficult. Like one of the first in-class assignments we did, you guys will be completing a portrait of your partner. Since this is a more laid back project you will be allowed to work in whatever style and media you’d prefer. You have until the end of this semester to complete it. Considering the Due date is so far away, I want you to incorporate methods we'll be learning.”

Kei watches as the other kids in their class begin to chatter quite loudly, much to his displeasure, about the semantics of their projects. Kei peeked out of the corner of his eye and watched Tadashi scribble little notes into his sketch pad before turning to him. 

“Is, what’s his name, Tetsurou? Taking you home today?” 

“No he’s not.” Kei pauses and furrows his brows, “How do  _ you _ know him?”

“I’ve never talked with him or anything, but Kenma always talks about him and he picks him up from Hitoka’s house sometimes. Plus I’ve seen you get out of his car like, a billion times.”

“Bit of an exaggeration.”

“Just a bit.” Tadashi says with a raise of his brows and quirk of his lips, “Anyways are you free today?”

He thinks he feels bile rising in his throat but keeps his voice even, “What do you have in mind?”

Kei is  _ selfish _ , he values his time and privacy above all else and has never hesitated to decline plans, especially ones made by people who he isn’t close with and on days like today. When Tadashi asks with the small tilt of his head though, enough to catch a glimpse of his silver earring through his hair, Kei doesn’t get that urge to shoot it down immediately. The fact that he’s even  _ considering _ it on today of all days is enough to tug on his insides in a way that’s almost… pleasant _. _

Tadashi jolts like that wasn’t the answer he was expecting which Kei can’t blame him for because it wasn't the one he expected either. He chuckles awkwardly and rubs his arm with the hand that wears the amethyst ring, “We can walk to get something to eat and then start working on our pieces? We can do it at either of our houses but I have a lot of painting stuff, but my sister will also come home and probably try to bug us and-“

“You’re rambling Tadashi.”

Tadashi rubs the back of his neck as it turns pink with a sheepish smile, “Sorry Kei.” 

Oh god. Oh  _ god _ . Here lies Kei Tsukishima’s body. Cause of death: cute boy with freckles and a smile cute enough to make Kei’s homosexual tendencies flare up like this is the first boy he’s ever seen in his _life_. 

Perhaps that’s why the last three weeks have sucked? His overwhelmingly pathetic case of homosexual pining.

Kei really  _ is _ gonna vomit.

For self-preservation purposes Kei chooses not to respond to his apology, “Meet me at the front entrance after eighth then.” 

Tadashi smiles again, “Okay.” 

—

When Kei gets to Kuroo’s car for lunch he’s not surprised to see Bokuto leaning against it with Tobio next to him. He takes his time walking to them, they haven’t seen him yet, too wrapped up in their conversation which requires a maximum of three functioning brain cells to participate in. They spot him when he’s about six parking spaces away, Bokuto waves with a big smile and a  _ ‘Hey Tsuki-poo!’  _ and Tobio nods at him in greeting. 

He stands in front of them, hands tucked into his pockets with only his thermal long sleeve keeping the biting air from his skin, “Kuroo is with Kenma I’m assuming?”

Kageyama nods, arms crossed over his chest, “We just came out here to wait for you. We’re eating lunch with Keiji and Shou on the bleachers.” 

Kei nods in acknowledgement, following them past the lines of student cars towards the abandoned bleachers of the football field. For a moment he lingers on the kind gesture of them not completely abandoning him at Kuroo’s car. It’s not like they’re saints or anything because it’s pretty much common decency, but Kei _is_ a huge bitch and any time someone as close to him as Koutarou and Tobio, who know just how shitty his personality  _ really _ is, show kindness he’s not sure how to handle it. 

Kei doesn’t think he really  _ deserves _ common decency.

Kuroo had met Bokuto when they had first started the hellscape that was middle school. Kei couldn’t stomach him for the first three months, he’d make Akiteru answer the door whenever they came to ask if he wanted to play and say he was sick. Eleven year old Kei had felt so lonely then, worried that the only friend he’d managed to snag was now gone. Kuroo had eventually convinced him that he wouldn’t leave him ever, and as stupid as Kei found it even then, he pinky promised they’d always be friends. He even eventually came to tolerate and even like Koutarou but that definitely wasn’t quick to happen. 

And when he and Tobio met his freshman year, it was not pretty. They got on each other’s very last nerve every chance they got, bickering constantly and exchanging harsh words that lead to endless fights over the dumbest shit. They even came to blows one time. It was February of ninth grade, they were sitting in the skate park smoking and Kei had said something that he doesn’t even remember anymore but it was obviously too far even by his own standards. Kageyama punched him directly in the face, his nose dripped blood profusely as he sent his own punch back, marking the other boy’s cheekbone with an ugly purple bruise before they could be pulled apart. 

That was a fun thing to explain to his mother. 

When they pass through the gate Keiji and Bokuto spot each other right away, they’re like fucking magnets, in a crowd of a thousand people Bokuto and Keiji would know exactly where to find each other like a weird sixth sense. He’s sitting with Shouyou and Hitoka closely in front of him. Keiji’s lidded blue eyes twinkle the second he spots him, his cheeks are flushed and the smile that he gives his boyfriend is enough to knock the wind out of anyone in a hundred foot radius. Bokuto sprints up the bleachers like a madman, careful not to trample the two in front of him. He grabs Keiji’s face and kisses him square on the lips before he can be swatted away.

It’s  _ almost _ kinda cute.

Kageyama and Kei share a look then make their way towards them. 

“Koutarou please be careful about kissing me at school.” Keiji tips his head and smiles sadly. 

Bokuto nods, though they all know he probably isn’t listening because Kei has seen the conversation five times. Bokuto has never been outwardly affected by the things others have said regarding their… preferences. He has this unfathomable ability to just  _ not _ care. Outwardly at least. 

When Kei and Kageyama reach them, Kageyama predictably takes a seat on the cold metal next to Shouyou, he watches on in mild disgust as they begin to bicker like an old couple almost immediately. Kei waves politely to Hitoka and Keiji, who both smile and wave back, before taking a seat to the left and in front of Hitoka. 

Kei shoves his earbuds into his ears and closes his eyes, pretending he’s not freezing his absolute ass off. Even though his earbuds are playing pretty loudly he can still hear the commotion of the others. He takes a moment and lets the chill of the wind ground him, it’s biting and harsh, he knows his pale skin is an embarrassing shade of red and his lips are wind chapped but he’s too lazy to grab his lip balm from his bag. 

He enjoys the fifteen minutes of being left alone, silently thanking the others for the space they’re giving to him. The next time Kei opens his eyes he thinks the cold is playing tricks on his brain, Tadashi is at the bottom of the bleachers, hands tucked into his jacket pockets as he walks up to the group. The thought of Tadashi eating lunch with Keiji, Shouyou, and Hitoka (and Kenma) had never really crossed his mind. Though it was kinda obvious wasn’t it? Who else would he eat with when he hasn’t been here very long to make many friends. 

Tadashi surprisingly settles next to Kei, he gives him a smile before waving hello to Keiji and Hitoka, the former braiding the latter’s hair mindlessly as he chats to his boyfriend but pauses to give an award worthy smile back. 

Shouyou is too busy trying to put Kageyama into a headlock to notice the greeting. 

They’re so hopeless it hurts. 

Tadashi settles his bag in front of him and looks over at the Kei and perks up at his appearance, “Oh Kei aren't you uhm, cold?”

He pulls his earbud from his left ear, rubbing the back of his neck, “I forgot my sweater on my desk this morning.” 

Tadashi digs through his bag immediately and pulls out a plain black hoodie, he holds it out to the taller boy, “It might be a little small on you but you’re welcome to wear it. I forgot to take it out of my bag yesterday.” 

Kei thanks the cold for concealing it but curses himself for flushing in the first place. What is he, twelve? 

“No it’s really okay…”

“Tsuki-poo! Just take Freckle’s sweater for Christ sake, you’re gonna freeze your skinny ass off!” Bokuto butts in. He hears Kageyama chuckle. 

Tadashi smiles when Kei takes the jacket from his waiting hands, “Tsuki-poo?” 

He groans as he slips the jacket over his head (Tadashi was correct in his assessment of it being too small for Kei, but he appreciates it regardless), “When we met I refused to tell him my name and I wouldn’t let Kuroo tell him my name either. All I told him was my surname and then that turned into ‘Tsuki’, because it was too long for him to remember, and then it was ‘Tsuki-poo’ which makes me regret not telling him my name in the first place.” 

Tadashi has a look somewhere between mirth and unadulterated fondness settled onto his cold-flushed features. Kei wants to scream so loud his throat aches at the force of it. 

“Cute,” he says simply. 

Kei is glad there’s about six inches between them because if they were sitting as close as thing one and thing two were he knew that Tadashi would be able to feel his entire body tense. That coupled with the jacket that belongs to  _ Tadashi _ that  _ Kei _ is wearing, he’s going to keel over. It smells nice, warm and woody, and the material on the inside is soft. 

Kei’s raging case of homosexual brain rot is tiring.

—

When the day is over Kei finds Tadashi with his hands clasped in front of him beneath the flagpole. He’s looking towards the ground, and fidgeting with his rings mindlessly as he waits. When Kei clears his throat to announce his presence he jumps about a foot in the air.

Tadashi grips his heart, “Jesus Christ, how are your steps so quiet?” 

Kei shrugs.

The olive-haired boy gives himself a moment to catch his breath before setting off toward the sidewalk. Kei follows wordlessly, unsure of what to say. They’re not particularly close and communication that’s anything beyond snarky is difficult on a good day for him. 

Tadashi seems to get that Kei is rather inept at have decent conversation so he (thankfully) takes it upon himself, “Does eating at the little diner place on the corner sound good? If I was smart enough to get my license we could go get some real food but I’m cool with settling.”

Kei nods, “Yeah that’s fine. I’m not that hungry anyways.”

Tadashi nods. 

The air is quiet between the two but not necessarily awkward. Kei is mentally punching himself for being so bad at talking to people. Why is the only time he’s got something to say is it rude? He doesn’t know who to be angry with for making him such a bitch but he’s got a few choice words for them.

Tadashi, the absolute angel he is, speaks up again disrupting Kei’s mental hexing, “So uh, why isn’t Kuroo giving you a ride home today?”

Kei digs his hands deeper into the pocket of the hoodie, “He’s finally getting his head out of his ass and taking Kenma on a date to ask him out.” 

Tadashi’s eyes light up, “That’s really cute. Have they known each other long?” 

Kei shakes his head in affirmation, “Since they were little.”

Tadashi’s eyebrows shoot up, “And he’s just asking him out  _ now _ ?” 

Kei felt the same way.

“Kuroo is a dumb ass and Kenma is too fucking cool for him, but,” he paused for a moment, “they’re good for each other. I think.” 

“Kenma is definitely cool. Seeing him skateboard is pretty rad.”

Their shoulders brush as the two walk together now.

“Yeah, I remember Kuroo made me be there with him for ‘emotional support’ while he tried to teach himself to skate to impress Kenma and then he busted his ass and started crying and swore me to secrecy.” 

“Kei!”

He genuinely smiles.

“I told him the only person I wouldn’t tell was  _ Kenma _ , you, Tadashi, are fair game.” 

“What were you guys, in like middle school?” 

“Ah, no this was sophomore year.”

Kei watches with fondness as the boy absolutely loses it. He stops in his tracks and has a hand plastered over his mouth to suppress the giggles but it’s no use. They’re like music to Kei’s ears. They’re bright and dorky and he finds himself committing them to memory. 

That’s so gay. That’s  _ really _ gay.

Kei is struck with this feeling. Their shoulders bump again but it’s not close enough, not nearly. He wants to carry Tadashi around in his pocket. He mentally kicks himself, he’s waxing poetic over a boy he’s known for a few weeks. That’s high school for you.

He’s unable to hide his own chuckles as well.

—

They’re not in the diner long. Tadashi orders a burger and scarfs it down like it’s the first meal of his entire life. Kei orders a tray of fries because he’s too awkward to say he really doesn’t feel hungry (because if he’s being honest Kei is never really  _ that _ hungry). He picks at the fries and watches the boy across from him. The overcast sky filters in muted sunshine through the window, it settles across the bridge of his nose and reflects across his irises. Kei is hungry but it’s definitely not for the sorry excuse of fries he’s been served. 

Kei insists on paying for the food when they’re leaving, “I owe you for my passing art grade and I told you I owed you anyways, just let me get it.” 

His eyes flickered down, “No it’s really alright you didn’t even eat mu-“

“ _ Tadashi _ .”

His jaw snaps shut his back going rigid, “Sorry Kei.” 

This is nothing like the apology he’d received earlier. Kei notes his immediate and obvious discomfort, the tensed shoulders, the furrow between his brows and the way he seems to be back to that position of curling into himself, making himself smaller. He feels bad. whatever nerve he struck he hadn’t meant to, his exasperation was just overplayed as always but it wasn’t Tadashi’s fault that he didn’t know that. 

He hesitates as to what he should say next. The kind and reassuring words he settles on feel foreign in his mouth, “You shouldn't apologize, I really just want to repay you for the help.” 

The high-strung tension in Tadashi’s shoulders melts away, he’s not back to the giggling mess he was earlier laughing at Kuroo’s expense, but definitely better than before. 

They decide on the walk back toward their neighborhood that it might be best to do their planning at Tadashi’s house because he has all the things they need. He warns Kei of his younger sister, Aiko, who would inevitably try to bug them. Kei doesn’t particularly love children but he’s willing to play nice with her because she seems cute enough.

When they enter they take off their shoes immediately, Kei grimaces at his choice of socks. Kuroo has a tradition of getting him funky socks for Christmas and it’s just his luck he chose the ones with little dogs on them today (Kuroo has a matching pair of course). Tadashi takes note of them, even huffs a small breath filled with amusement but he doesn’t comment, much to his relief. 

The house is homey, it’s warm and decorated well. There’s an array of family photos on the wall, he recognizes Tadashi in many of them immediately. There’s one where he’s maybe five or six, smiling and pointing to a missing front tooth. There’s others of Aiko and her brother, ranging from all ages and milestones of childhood. 

Kei has been inside this home before but it’s nothing like it used to be. He can’t decide if he finds comfort in that. 

“My mom and dad won’t be home till late because they work a few towns over. Aiko should be getting home in like an hour… Do you want something to drink?” 

“No I'm alright, thanks.” 

He wrings his hands together, a tell of nervousness, before nodding and gesturing for Kei to follow him. 

Kei is only human so he does have to avert his eyes when they’re walking up the steps to not ogle the shorter boy. He once again curses the homo brain for that one.

You know what? Kei really is starting to believe homosexuality is a disease because it currently feels terminal.

The freckled boy opens the door before promptly shutting it and spinning around to face Kei. He raises a blond eyebrow at him but says nothing. With a lilt to his voice he manages a ‘Uh, please give me a moment!’ before promptly rushing into his room to leave Kei out in the hallway standing daftly. 

When he’s allowed to enter he notices immediately how cute Tadashi’s room is. 

Yes cute.

Very cute. 

His room is decorated with lights and trinkets. His own art, (and even what appear to be some of Aiko’s) is tacked up among the many band and TV show posters. He notices that the reason Tadashi had to ”fix something” was because he had a singular stuffed animal on his bed that Kei had managed to catch a glimpse of before the door was shut. Kei has no clue where he’s hidden it but if it makes him feel better he won’t mention it. 

Kei doesn’t want to be impolite and sit on the bed, he’s a dick but he’s not gonna be a complete boundary-overstepping  _ monster.  _ He awkwardly waits in front of the door for Tadashi to guide him but he’s busy rifling through the drawers of his sleek black desk for pencils and paper. 

“Uh Tadashi…” 

He whips around quick enough that Kei thinks he’s the one who got whiplash just from watching it. Tadashi is obviously very out of his element and nothing like the cool and collected kid in art class. Maybe the diner incident knocked him off kilter, maybe he’s not used to having people in his room, maybe he’s even  _ embarrassed _ by it?

He guesses all of the above are fair assumptions and fair justifications for his behavior. Tadashi has no way of knowing that Kei won’t call him a fairy or something for having strings of lights in his room and a stuffed animal, because for some reason that can be misconstrued as gay? Kei doesn’t understand the world.

Gay means you like men, where exactly does a stuffed toy come into play? 

Tadashi’s ‘hm’-ing pulls him out of his strange, derailed thoughts, “You can sit on my bed, I don’t mind! If you do though you can sit at my desk.” 

Kei hums, sees the flush on Tadashi’s cheeks and relishes in it, “I don’t mind.”

He sits at the foot of the bed, taking in the room fully now. His eyes settle onto a keyboard tucked in the corner of the room.

“Do you play piano?” 

Tadashi looks up from the small stack of supplies he’s accumulated with this sparkle in his eyes, “Oh yeah! I started getting lessons when I was like five or so? I play guitar too but I really love the piano.” 

Kei notices he is essentially back to his normal disposition, it’s comforting. 

There's a pause before he asks, “Do you play any instruments? You kinda seem like the type.”

“Should I be offended by that?” Kei doesn’t let him respond before he continues with a chuckle, “Bass.”

“Nah don’t be offended, I bet girls fall all over you.”

Kei wants to laugh but he doesn’t think that would be very polite, “Eh… I don’t know about all that.”

“Bass players are usually total heart breakers.”

There are two things Kei finds amusing about this situation. 

One: he has no experience with girls at all. Not even a kindergarten girlfriend. Never in any of his years of life has he ever even looked at a girl and had thoughts that ventured beyond ‘she’s nice’ or ‘she’s smart’. He guesses he can see their aesthetic appeal because they’re very soft and pretty and smell nice but Kei just can’t seem to understand heterosexual attraction. He’s never even  _ kissed _ a girl. In short, when Kei came out it wasn't a surprise to anyone (read: Akiteru, his mother, Kuroo, and Bokuto). 

Two: and in a strange sort of masochistic way he finds the sentiment of him being a quote, unquote ‘heart breaker’ funny. He’d only been on the receiving end of those. 

Tadashi looks panicked as he realizes what he’s said, “Not that I think you’d be that type of guy! Not at all!”

Kei tries to give him a reassuring smile but it falls flat because smiling is not his strong suit, “I know dude, it’s okay.” 

They end up sitting shoulder to shoulder and drafting up what their plan is for their portraits. Aiko comes in when she arrives home and very politely introduces herself to Kei. She’s wearing pigtails and a sweater with a cat on it and asks Tadashi if she’s allowed to watch cartoons. When he says she needs to do her homework first she says ‘why? what’s the point of doing it if i’m the smartest one in the class and know all that stuff already?’ 

Kei has never resonated with a ten year old so much. She’s probably his new favorite person. 

When Tadashi gives her a stern look and tells her to bring him her homework before she watches TV she leaves with an over dramatic agreement. They spend an hour trying to come up with ways Kei can do his portrait with only minimal guidance and help from Tadashi.

While they’re sitting there, close enough that he can feel the small puffs of Tadashi’s exhales against his shoulder, he thinks he’s going insane. Even with his god awful vision he can make out each individual freckle. Kei rethinks his atheism because god must be real, how could they be placed so perfectly upon someone’s face without divine help? He can study his profile and the lean line of his neck. He can see the scrunching of his nose and eyes up close and Kei wonders if that’s what he looks like when someone is leaning in to kiss him. 

_ Gay. Gay. Gay.  _

—

Around midnight Kei is blinking open his eyes blearily, annoyed by a sharp, hollow tapping coming from across the room. Being a notoriously light sleeper means that even the smallest sound disrupts his pitiful sleep. The world is blissfully blurry, the streetlight washing his room in a yellow glow that he snarls at. He rubs his eyes and slips on his glasses just in time to watch a small rock hit his window and echo another tapping sound into his room.

He shuffles over to his window, lifting it up and leaning partially out of it to hiss quietly at the boy holding rocks, “What the  _ fuck _ Tetsurou. You’re gonna break my fucking window!” 

Kuroo laughs, Kei isn’t sure if it’s because he used his first name or because he looks like an absolute fucking mess, “Was your blind ass asleep?” 

Kei squints at him in anger and tiredness before whisper-yelling, “Yes asshole! What’s so important?” 

Kuroo rubs the back of his neck before looking up at him, his facial features soften considerably. Kei briefly remembers Kuroo and Kenma’s date, it felt like a fucking eternity ago when Kuroo had told him about it and now here he is seventeen hours later to tell him how it went, and in range to throw heavy objects at. 

“He said yes!” he whisper yells back.

“Well fucking finally.” Kei pauses before pointing an accusing finger in Tetsurou’s direction, “Your mom let you stay out this late?” 

“No….” 

“Sleep in your car.”

Kuroo whines and stomps his foot, “It smells like sex thoughhhh.”

Kei chucks a random slipper at him. 

He dodges it, if he hadn’t it would’ve nailed him in the face, “Hey! I’m just joking! But if you don’t let me in I _will_ scream bloody murder.”

Kei rests his chin in his hand on the windowsill, “I will drop something heavy on your head before you even get the chance.” 

“I promise I won’t make jokes about Akiteru.”

Kei purses his lips, “For how long?” 

“Till New Years.”

“Don’t you think Kenma will be jealous if you make jokes about him now that he’s your boyfriend.” He says flatly.

Kuroo takes on a devilish look in his eyes, “Kenma thinks he’s hot too so he doesn’t care.”

Kei groans, “Goodnight Tetsurou. I’m now going to kill myself.”

It’s a joke, an obvious one too, but the air shifts and Kei knows he’s fucked up. 

Kuroo suddenly takes on a serious tone, “Kei.”

“Don’t.”

“Let me in.”

“Alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are appreciated <3

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are appreciated <3  
> (i do not currently have an updating schedule but they do take a bit of time so please bare with me!)


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